The fact that one is required to lie to fit into ‘normal’ society is an indication that we are still far from rational creatures. If being 100% honest makes you a sociopath then there is something very wrong with our society. Lies are an expression of our irrationality. They are like art or technology in that they are our creation and their continued use makes them part of who we are. We are irrational.
As I consider the nature of truth, and whether one’s propensity in telling it makes them socially inadequate, I remember an episode of a funny little cartoon called The life and times of Tim(S2E1). In the episode Tim does something socially inappropriate and gets a psychologist to write him a note to get out of it. The note says he has Asbergers. I felt that this seemed a little extreme, the idea that being honest, as Tim always is, and not realising, or caring, when you’re doing something socially inappropriate means you are actually impaired in some way seems a bit much. I then, upon further research, discovered that perhaps the reason why I feel this is a bit much is because I am, mildly at least, that way inclined myself. Just about everything below I can relate to:
Unlike those with autism, people with AS are not usually withdrawn around others; they approach others, even if awkwardly. For example, a person with AS may engage in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic, while misunderstanding or not recognizing the listener's feelings or reactions, such as a need for privacy or haste to leave.[6] This social awkwardness has been called "active but odd".[2] This failure to react appropriately to social interaction may appear as disregard for other people's feelings, and may come across as insensitive.[6] However, not all individuals with AS will approach others. Some of them may even display selective mutism, speaking not at all to most people and excessively to specific people. Some may choose to talk only to people they like.[25]
Related to this last point is a problem I face whenever I go out drinking. This problem has even been noted by friends, who have rightly encouraged me to drink to overcome it. The problem is that when sober I am so cynical and analytical that I have little interest in interacting with other people, except maybe to subtly express my distain for them.
My comment to a friend one day was ‘I hate everyone else in this room’, obviously hyperbole, but with a hint of truth in it none-the-less. I look around at all the superficiality, insincerity and drunken stupidity that abounds in nightlife and it depresses me. It is only when I become intoxicated myself, and typically to the extreme, that I’m able to get past these issues and enjoy myself. The catch here is that when I’m sober I’m too grumpy and apathetic to talk to any strangers, i.e. try to pick up, and when I am intoxicated I join the rest of the pack in being too sordid to actually be able to pick up. Put simply I’m either in a state of being too smart or too dumb to fit in when I’m out drinking. Of course there is that small window when I am at just the right level of drunkenness to fit in and have fun, but this place represents a fine balance, a thin line, and the night is long. At most I’ll be in this peak zone for about an hour and if I’m out from 9pm to 2am this leaves a lot of time for all that has gone well to go wrong.
(The above was written in April 2011, the text below written 3 months later. Much of what is written repeats itself, but a few of the lines are too good to keep to myself)After testing the idea of remaining sober and enjoying myself while out I realised that for me this can’t really be done. The problem is that when I’m sober my thoughts are predominately focused on big picture issues, which are either not understood, or not cared about by the average reveller. To go out and be sober is for me to go out with no particular interest in the conversations of those around me, and with them having no particular interest in my thoughts either.
Only when I am drunk or high can I forget about all of the world’s problems. There are so many problems that I do wish to escape from their enslavement sometimes, and I can do this when intoxicated. But when sober I must always face the fact that I should not simply ignore all of these problems because my lifestyle is based on, and is directly responsible for, a lot of the mess which I find so disagreeable.
Minimising your impact on the world is one thing but ideally those who can will also try to influence others to live a better life. It may seem a bit oppressive or arrogant to try and influence others in this way, but if you have good reason to believe that it will make the world a better place why not? Everyone is continually being influenced by others. We all live on the same planet. We all affect each other.
I write in order to sort out all the ideas in my head.
I read because so to have others before me.
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